Watermelon Sugar Wallpapers
Harry Styles
“How do you tell someone that the reason you’re sad is because you love them?”
— You’ll stop replying soon anyway. - j.e.o. (via jodyohsnap)
Before I fall in love again
1. I want us to be friends. Which means, I want to be able to eat my favourite cheese crust pizza with you, while having cheese all over my face and even in my hair, without feeling embarrassed or concerned about it.
I want to be comfortable with you, I want to be okay about being messy, irritating, embarrassing, disgusting, petty while with you. Because I will be petty when I see my ex best friend post a happy picture and I will be messy during my finals and I will be embarrassing when I meet your parents for I suck at meeting parents. I want to be okay with being the way I am and the only way to be okay is to know that you’re okay with me being things other than beautiful, graceful and composed at all times.
2. I want to be able to have long and passionate conversations with you not just about existential things but also about what went wrong in the ending of that book and how kids are affected by media and how tomato basil combination always works. I want to have conversations where we may not always have the same views but our fundamental values always fall in place. I want to talk to you about the beauty of the stars but I also want to talk to you about the disgusting mentality behind certain societal norms.
3. I want to see how consistent your actions are with your words. I don’t want to fall for love letters or poems, for sweet Instagram captions or long birthday texts, I want to fall in love with you showing up on time and keeping your promises.
4. I want to take it slow. I want our story to work out in years, not months. I want to respect time and space this time.
5. I want to make sure I am not seeking love from you for the lack of love I have for myself. I want to make sure you aren’t a void I am filling in, you are not an alternative to the things I can’t give myself. I want to make sure you are not doing the same.
6. I want to work out with my insecurities and fears from the past. I don’t want to project them on you, I don’t want to subject you to the doubts, suspicion and anger I carry from the people I have known in the past.
7. Before I fall in love again, I want to make a mattress with you. Of understanding and respect and trust. So when we fall, it doesn’t hurt.
I don’t think feminism stands to gain anything by pretending that it’s easy to be a feminist. When I see or hear things like “80% of the world is feminist, a feminist is anyone who believes women should be equal,” I’m not comforted. I don’t see what the movement has to gain by pretending that misogyny is not the default in most people, and that being a feminist is as easy as buying into a buzzword. Feminism is hard. It requires examining our own beliefs and behaviors, a constant struggle to root out misogynist and patriarchal beliefs and behaviors, analysis of how our actions and the actions of others are harmful to women, and a conscious effort to change. Not just one time, but every day. To pretend that anyone who “believes in equality” is automatically a feminist is to leave the status quo untouched, to dress up oppressive behavior as liberating if we affix a “likes women” badge to it. To pretend that the fix is easy is to ignore that the disease permeates every aspect of our society, and to avoid naming the problem and telling people that work is actually involved is to fail women in the name of making others comfortable.
Also, saying that being a feminist is just believing women should be equal to men is the epitome of white feminism. It completely ignores how the struggles of women of color, trans women, lesbians, sex workers, and any other minority group, have to be acknowledged when discussing any sort of equality.
suspend